'Mirror Mirror on the wall, tell us who we really are...'

July 31, 2021

Learning how to see yourself in your own reflection can increase self-compassion, aid stress management, and improve relationships and emotional resilience.

Life is not easy. It is a bumpy ride till the end. And we as humans are constantly trying to find the purpose of our lives. After every single hiccup, we raise a doubt whether we are on the right path or not? Are we doing it right? This self-doubt is incessant and likely to be addictive because we can bring it up anytime.

I am one of the above individuals who adore self-doubts. I always thought that self-critic, with an adequate amount, is an advantage. It will push you to do things. But it never ceases and goes out of your hand. Even with a little hitch, they present themselves automatically. Eventually, there was no need for any trouble; they were always in my head, giving their opinions. So to cut them out, I had to take a step, but where to begin.

To begin with, we should change our gaze to look at ourselves. Remember, how sometimes you look good in the mirror but not in the pictures? The mirror plays a crucial role in our lives, it shows who we really are. When we look in the mirror we are only looking at ourselves with our pure gaze. There is no filter in front to judge our shortcomings. But with a camera in front of us, we want to be perfect or perhaps, pretend.

We live in a society where its norms and beliefs can never be satisfied. If you let these beliefs control you, you will always be correcting yourself. In an experiment, on how the mirror works in our lives, Tara Well said her students to tell her what they see in the mirror. She observed,

“First, they became aware of just how much they criticized themselves — whether it was their appearance or some other aspect of themselves that they habitually found unacceptable. The mirror brought it to light. And the mirror revealed just how much their criticisms were affecting them because they could see it on their face! Then they had a choice, and practice, to treat themselves with more acceptance and compassion.”

We are social beings and to make a perception about others we meet them to know them better. Similarly, we as individuals have to understand ourselves better with our gaze and not with cultural standards.

There are techniques of mirror meditations and they will not make you narcissistic but will help you understand yourself better by removing the filter of society.